tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35519462811300106012024-02-07T11:58:44.079-08:00Country DadCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-61034260753981376842011-02-13T04:06:00.000-08:002011-02-14T10:31:40.632-08:00Valentines DayWith Valentines day fast approaching, many men are wondering what to buy their partner to show their true love.<br />
The shops are full of loads of tat ranging from 'I love you' balloons to penis moulds for the nights you are away, shocking!<br />
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I have decided that you don't need to waste money on the things your partner wont want or will collect dust until she thinks you wont mind if it's thrown away. Here are a few ideas I have come up with to show your true love.<br />
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Valentines day falls on Monday this year, therefore it might be wise to wait until the evening to share presents, just to give you more time to buy them on the way home.<br />
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This can start with a bunch of flowers (freshly bought from the garage) and a romantic kiss when you get home from work. If you have taken the day off or don't work, this can happen at about 11.00am when you wake up ready for the Jeremy Kyle show.<br />
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It's traditional that you buy over priced Carnations, as roses are too expensive, and a bottle of Asti to go with your romantic meal of a large mans steak.<br />
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Make sure you dress for the occasion. This means wearing your best pants and removing your winter vest from beneath your unironed shirt. A comedy tie from your work Secret Santa also goes down well.<br />
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If you have a child, you are lucky enough to spend yet another evening at home. Make it special by eating in front of Eastenders and continue to sit on the sofa until you are too tired to move or even consider anything romantic.<br />
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Leave the dishes until the morning as the fat from the steak always creates a beautiful aroma after a night of maturing and it's always nice to get a whiff of last nights booze.<br />
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Keep your valentines card on the window sill until it bends and keels over with age (If unsure, the card should have turned brown in colour)<br />
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Take time to reflect your valentines experience and promise yourself, once again, that next year you will make more of an effort, or is this just me?<br />
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Happy Valentines XCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-65407468588817794672011-02-03T11:43:00.000-08:002011-02-04T10:47:45.021-08:00Mans best friendIt has been said that a mans best friend is his dog. I wouldn't say my dog, Russell Crowe, was my BEST ever friend, but he is a very good boy.<br />
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Like most of my mates, I don't call him by his given name, Gustav led to Gus to Russ to Russell and finally on to Russell Crowe. It was going to be Russell Grant, but he has decided he was not a fat gay.<br />
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Having a dog can bring loads of pleasure from walking in the country to cleaning up the weekly crap from the lawn, however not everything is a pleasure.<br />
It's a fact that dogs love to fart, THEY STINK! almost as if they have been eating dog food! They seem to give you a little wink, in a way saying "thank-you" for their supper, however they use their brown eye to do the winking.<br />
The worst fart to experience is a dog 'hot boxing' in the car whilst travelling at 70 on the motorway, no escape................breath the green air!<br />
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I know we have all been told off at school for either farting or laughing at a fart, but lets be honest, over the years most of us still find farting hilarious. This is only the case if we are the ones who dealt it, if it's a tramp farting next to you on the bus the humour stops and a punch should be issued.<br />
Although I mentioned that my dog isn't gay, he did go through a confused stage, like an Eton boarder. He used to like a boyish wrestle with other un- suspecting males which would quickly turn into a good hard shag, finished off by a nose up the bottom. That's the other dog's bottom, not mine.<br />
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Well apart from these down falls, they are still fun to have around, good old Russell Crowe.<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: white;">I finish this Blog with a</span><strong><u> LOCAL WARNING:</u></strong><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><span style="color: white;">There have been a few cases of a group of people knocking on peoples doors and stating they have a warrant to see your bottom. Be warned these people are frauds and are only doing this as a crude way of getting to see your peaches, don't show them under any circumstances!</span><br />
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I wish someone had warned me a few days ago!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXcBHpRy697TYDtI-qhPMz5cuPVyU1TNdrq6hs7SNLO0Ypw4Nhgnd8enrEoyYwLY1ZSNrUse4jyH5nX6fZMSHzwk3V-WUFtHCwoVwgbSIXlpXmwAWm6hr1kH4MtAfLJMAtyUlT2Cc3dA/s1600/iphone+420.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXcBHpRy697TYDtI-qhPMz5cuPVyU1TNdrq6hs7SNLO0Ypw4Nhgnd8enrEoyYwLY1ZSNrUse4jyH5nX6fZMSHzwk3V-WUFtHCwoVwgbSIXlpXmwAWm6hr1kH4MtAfLJMAtyUlT2Cc3dA/s320/iphone+420.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Singing to 'We will rock you'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-43596928067511091322011-01-26T13:57:00.000-08:002011-01-26T13:57:24.379-08:00How not to sell your houseWe are in the process of selling our house to buy something bigger for our growing numbers. This is not as easy as we hoped with the current market as it is, so I developed this essential list to help.<br />
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As the potential buyer enters the house you should set the ambiance of a perfect lifestyle.<br />
You should have pre-trained your cats and dogs to do their best. This includes the following sub issues:<br />
<ul><li>Cats and dogs should be trained to create natural air freshener which saves on glade plug-ins. This can consist of the odd crafty turd lurking in the corner of the room, feeding your dog sprouts the previous evening or introducing them to a week old fox faeces which they can lather themselves up in. </li>
<li>Ensure there is a good variety of excretions on the front lawn sticking up like stalagmites or possibly in a Stone Henge arrangement if you have had enough time to train them .</li>
<li>Dog hair is essential to place all over the floor and seats, ready to cling to the black skirt or trouser leg of the discerning buyer, the more the better. </li>
<li>A welcome gift of a licked clean mouse liver is essential on the doorstep.</li>
<li>If it's summer and the viewers are likely to look around the garden, make sure you have not cut the lawn and the dog has sneakily hidden it's Stone Henge arrangement beneath the grass as a booby trap-even better if the prospective buyers wear flip flops. Direct the viewers down the faeceed area, stand back and laugh out loud (they will love that)</li>
<li>Fill the cat litter tray to the brim and add ornamental toadstools to it saying 'I think it adds a nice feature to the room'</li>
</ul>Tasteless colours - It is a fact that new buyers love maroon or avocado bathroom suites. If you are unlucky enough to have a white suite some cheap paint may give it a quick makeover at a fraction of the cost of a new suite.<br />
It is a must to add a floater or the bare minimum of a skid mark to every toilet. If the viewer uses the toilet complain to them that they should clean up after themselves.<br />
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Bed clothes and bedrooms should always smell of teenage boy, this should include damp tissues, socks and mouldy mugs placed strategically around each room.<br />
Crusty pants should take centre stage on top of the over flowing laundry basket.<br />
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Family photos should be in place on every surface. Mostly of children with two green rivers of snot and ice lolly or sweet covered faces and hands. It is essential that the children have gappy teeth, if need be cut some photos out of 'Take a Break' magazine and cut out the story 'I used to be a man but now I'm expecting my Grandads baby' then pass it off as your brothers story.<br />
<img class="rg_hi" data-height="191" data-width="264" height="191" id="rg_hi" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrX5OTTcBetOOEmmquRwyIemY3qQj_WuA_1BooAhAfqTGAUVoU" style="height: 191px; width: 264px;" width="264" /><br />
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5. Kitchen - There should be a good portion of potato peelings on the floor, covered in the usual mixture of hair. Sink should be full of a weeks worth of washing up and the kitchen surface encrusted in gravy and tomato ketchup.<br />
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You should have had kippers for every meal during the week and not emptied the bin to give the savoury aroma every loves.<br />
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6. Before the viewing invite your most hairy friend over to stay for the week and make sure they leave every type of hair they have around the plug hole. Not only does this show that the shower works, but it can create a shag pile effect which is all the rage.<br />
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Take one of your friends longest pubes and hang it off the side of the mug you offer the viewer tea in. If they complain say to them 'At least it's not ginger'.<br />
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7. If you have a shed, hide an old tramp or someone who smells of wee, possibly a relative in it. If anyone asks just say that they came with the house and haven't been any trouble so far.<img class="rg_hi" data-height="211" data-width="239" height="176" id="rg_hi" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDvuTJ9_cUZRhKpJ4m89IQdxEZXyemDcFuIIS6-PDoHPzXFA3vvA" style="height: 211px; width: 239px;" width="200" /><br />
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I hope this helps in some way and remember join my protest 'Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!'Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-12911541707725831842011-01-23T12:00:00.000-08:002011-01-23T12:33:47.471-08:00Mans Helping HandAfter having my back operation on my Birthday, the hospital sent me home with a number of presents including:<br />
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<strong>A raised toilet seat:</strong> I call this my throne, not only does it help me sit down by using the helpful handles but it has a cushioned seat which beats my usual bottom numbing toilet seat.<br />
After using it for the first time I was pleased with the experience, that was until I used my 'helping hand' (more on that later) to pull up my PJ bottoms. I had made the mistake of having a luxury sit down wee...this came straight out of the bottom of my throne and was mopped up by my PJ's! This initially gave a warm feeling, much like I remember when I was a kid wetting myself and walking around with widened legs like John Wayne. Pity I look more like Wayne Sleep wearing my stockings!<br />
.<img class="sg_i" height="200" src="http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=406103532388&id=4e1e013bd09682bd449f645b180c0bf8" style="height: 250px; left: 0px; top: 0px; width: 200px;" width="160" /><br />
<strong>Stockings and a Corset:</strong> I'm sure the Doctors get a laugh getting patients to believe and follow their every word. If they advised me to put my finger up my bum every half hour I would, incidentally this is the method they have always used to diagnose any illness I have ever had (one up the bum, no harm done!!!) It must be a way to show that the patient is serious enough about the pain they are in to allow someone to insert their lubricated fingers into you with trainee doctors watching on with interest. The question they asked was, 'Does this feel normal'? I replied 'As normal as it could feel having a strangers finger up your bum and an audience taking notes!'<br />
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After a few days on my back the nurses got me ready for home life. First they taught me how to put on a corset and stockings, then they sent in two young physios to teach me how to walk again around the hospital. The bonus of the morphine is that I didn't care that I was walking holding the hands of two ladies, in my best pants, corset and stockings, smelling like you a sock, whilst one of them held my catheter protruding from my penis and attached to a bag of my piss. The only time something similar has happened to me was on my stag do. The only difference was the lack of a bag of piss and the sock I used down my leg-ins to top off my Rod Stewart look.<br />
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<strong>Helping Hand:</strong> This is a type of grabber and my favourite present. I use it for various things, pulling up my pants and trousers after using the throne. Tweaking my dogs balls whilst he sleeps, squeezing my wife's bottom as she passes, taking the post from the postman just to scare him with my robot arm, picking up dirty nappies. The list is endless, I can't believe I have lived without one for so many years!<br />
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On my third day back at home a booklet came through the door. To my delight it was one of the ones aimed at the older generation, you know the ones with comfy shoes and slacks for £4.50 and men's pants with a hidden pad for when you wet yourself.<br />
These used to give me a cheap laugh, but to my concern I was actually thinking how useful the products were looking! <br />
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One last thing to report is my neighbour was knocking at my door at 2.30 in the morning last night. Fucking hell......2.30am! What sort of person does that? Luckily for them I was still up playing my drums.<br />
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(Joke stolen from Ali Ray)Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-8170316640887018262011-01-10T05:36:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:52:52.212-08:00Real Men Eat Quiche<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">It was once said that real men don't eat quiche. Well if a real man made it, it would be rude not to!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Here is my recipe to becoming a real man: Serves up to 4 men</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Finely chop a leek into rounds. A good sharp knife is useful as a blunt one wouldn't work.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Next up slice a good portion of smoked salmon and leave at the side until ready or until the cat has started eating at it. If this happens hum loudly and pretend nothing has happened.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">By this time you should have already blind baked a pastry casing in the oven for 15-20 mins at 180 degrees in a fan oven.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Blind baking is cooking the quiche base with silver foil over the top and weighted down with beans or rice. The rice or beans are removed before filling.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The reason it's called blind baking is because a blind baker developed the quiche and became famous throughout the world known as 'Robert Quiche the blind baker' before Jamie Oliver's time.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">His brother was famous for being the baker with brown fingers, why? Because he kneaded a poo!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K6P8vx5C-Y0/TSr_37bbIcI/AAAAAAAAADk/Uz3I9EXQ58o/s1600/iphone+666.JPG"></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Next melt a Knob of butter (not a nob of course that is cheese, that is of the Yogi variety <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2piqu3sMInA">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2piqu3sMInA</a> ) in a frying pan an soften the leeks until very lightly golden.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">At this point it is essential to drink some home brew lager (pictured) which you should have made 10 days before Christmas. If not any lager or ale will do.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Mix 4 large free range eggs and a pot of creme fraiche in a bowl and season.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">This should resemble gloopy vomit with a consistency of 8 pints and a dodgy chicken Korma.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpGyMHEp5hBk31JxqFTvDYwLAyDuiPpRhhZqALTq6Z49fYFbzpqUGx8rcZ9ekoqFw-YTm5GSUJFjvJ8Rjv8rVGuVnIJv_jTe3mgwmFnwtCsWwLwKP98XbXxPx-yEJGtUUZnlSrqaE8Gw/s1600/iphone+668.JPG" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Add the vomit, salmon and some wilted spinach (to add muscle) to the pre-cooked base and place in the oven for around 30 mins or until the top is golden brown.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Place on a plate with potato wedges and a small amount of salad, if ladies are present, if not add more wedges.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">If this isn't a recipe for the new age man, I don't know what is!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieVClMxwIu-o6OmgA3XJVUMVX_6ttAtFiZ4qNu8mAyCaFV1czMc46JYjQ9nIkbWMP3R1kWX0L9eBATVwB4mvkD0ZSWoB0rnlZGxFXU4vibCpjpOnBWLMf-sz4bXKdZi5HxcC29Rcgg8w/s1600/iphone+666.JPG" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>I had a ploughmans lunch today, he was livid!</div></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Gq1HOuGgRhZZ9YHcEBrrnH5BxcxbbiSE6_9mFLbBLLcmmp2GbAzqVUUpV8_njJP0XcISA0fmB8ouflxS5s3-_0WEkrgGkrt9-F4MLLMUOaKSdgyqiCKmWN34R5iC57Q0CfQFAj3HCA/s1600/iphone+672.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Gq1HOuGgRhZZ9YHcEBrrnH5BxcxbbiSE6_9mFLbBLLcmmp2GbAzqVUUpV8_njJP0XcISA0fmB8ouflxS5s3-_0WEkrgGkrt9-F4MLLMUOaKSdgyqiCKmWN34R5iC57Q0CfQFAj3HCA/s320/iphone+672.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBaNlOsGu8sWK5akD4sfwVIuMswdJLY_tz5z39CMSy328wSMjAkJcK5762cDgkKgnEl7Qu3x0cMTG-pBtgar6RwJjw4-xkTdhNRmKPRRRnIPEA_ni_rVnvP4UPGzOFJ8wfwliInMMpNw/s1600/iphone+664.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMUABfMvyP2FIL7kBGY1MjYAcikaLP8kmpRjr5CMVeLY60SsSiwnhP4JJhiB9kEKLnnEUoLcRHdUG1FQghdVI8qAJfjB9xXDSaQsCPrODvKu2kWtiy5xWHoaFEvCVTS_Au75jRfOBZDw/s1600/iphone+665.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-8052187799584973762010-12-23T04:18:00.000-08:002011-01-11T05:19:36.337-08:00Home made Lager and Ale<div class="mobile-photo"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIkGCLeAcjKSqQoce93NQMNhVqnKHHY1X4KMkH5gjjQSjrP8fvb_Kmaoopv5qVwP-lrpgYXoUOa6PCfCbS37Shs1eEJ7FJPdLz-ZTLa-IbwhhB0vIWSZs2GCbo0dw91EfOpPNEvjX4Q/s1600/photo-761817.JPG" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553252105389883090" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIkGCLeAcjKSqQoce93NQMNhVqnKHHY1X4KMkH5gjjQSjrP8fvb_Kmaoopv5qVwP-lrpgYXoUOa6PCfCbS37Shs1eEJ7FJPdLz-ZTLa-IbwhhB0vIWSZs2GCbo0dw91EfOpPNEvjX4Q/s200/photo-761817.JPG" width="149" /></a>The first batch of home brew is almost ready. We are on the second stage of fermenting. The last amount of sugar has been added and the lager has been bottled. At the moment it looks a little like Chicken Korma, but it's beginning to smell a little like beer.</div></div><div class="mobile-photo">Once the beer is clear it means its time for drinking, however it will improve with age. Date for tasting: Tues 28th of Dec, Happy Days!</div>Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-29401067075737935872010-12-23T04:13:00.000-08:002011-01-11T05:20:15.895-08:00The Village People cider tasting<strong></strong><br />
<div class="mobile-photo" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSkDIU-SXq6AAdkxEUf2VKMc_yJWvg3QqoUBJwfaFkmqaZCURdEAado2nKVCG9jbB_F-eyMLjz61vRfWuoNds83CiRtyhhPbn5wYn3HmARJk9KMX0oHKAQBYOy-YxKRkP1hHvza3wL2Q/s1600/photo-705059.JPG" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553251862781003314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSkDIU-SXq6AAdkxEUf2VKMc_yJWvg3QqoUBJwfaFkmqaZCURdEAado2nKVCG9jbB_F-eyMLjz61vRfWuoNds83CiRtyhhPbn5wYn3HmARJk9KMX0oHKAQBYOy-YxKRkP1hHvza3wL2Q/s200/photo-705059.JPG" width="149" /></a>We held the 'Village People' cider tasting the other day. Two of the three founders in the photo are Marcus & Mark (Two fine country folk). The cider tasted surprisingly bad, like mud and apple juice. I think it's about 5% proof at the moment.</div></div><div class="mobile-photo" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">The plan is to filter it, add a load of sugar and re-ferment it. This should give it a better taste and a few bubbles, I think the cold must have stopped it from fermenting to early.</div><div class="mobile-photo" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I will post an update soon.</div><div class="mobile-photo" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Please note, the photo was taken prior to the tasting. The photo after the tasting wasn't pleasant.</div>Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-65319869057100519982010-12-11T12:24:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:17:27.246-08:00Christmas and New Years booze65 pints for £20, that can't be bad! That's what me and my village mate Marcus made last night. I was on baby sitting duty when Marcus turned up with two beer making kits and an idea to make cheap booze. <br />
After drinking half a bottle of port we got to work adding the water to the syrup and hey presto we should have beer in 2 weeks.<br />
The last time I made home brew was with my mate Richie, we drank well for months and had the beer guts to prove it.<br />
I recommend it to anyone who lik<strike></strike>es beer and also needs to build up a bit of fat for the winterCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-86990140634373103842010-11-28T05:17:00.000-08:002010-11-28T05:20:24.117-08:00Picking Mussels with my musclesRight then, this was a time of warmer weather in the summer. A trip to Fistral beach inspired me to follow the likes of Hugh and do a bit of free foraging for supper.<br />
We were camping and I decided to give mussel picking a try. It was easy, with the tide out the huge mussels were at my mercy and I quickly collected enough for a large main course. You have to take care to collect from an area where no stagnant or slow flowing water circulates around the mussels, as this can be dangerous, where the mussels feed on toxins and then pass them on to you. Clean fast flowing water, high and low tides, often produces mussels without any grit.<br />
Back at the camper van I cleaned the mussels and removed their beards before cooking them until the shells were all open, discarding any that were still shut tight (the dead ones, not to be eaten).<br />
A quick addition of some pasta and pasta sauce and the meal was ready. Fresh sea food from the beach to my plate in under an hour, nothing better.<br />
This makes me a true forager, bring it on!Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-46830405015648389742010-11-23T11:07:00.000-08:002011-01-11T05:20:40.804-08:00Cider Making<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifiO6v-tPOH1SAXyFH7QTU_vOgL2oRcOTffcSUipA3xkCEMQraWj0lts_tqsIHVu2eKYjV8pYzgd47ILkYzH80UxByhxuga6CKtM37eM6nrhpGJd6E6Iyv_jzHe0yBDzAiZHBMWuiL4w/s1600/Cider.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifiO6v-tPOH1SAXyFH7QTU_vOgL2oRcOTffcSUipA3xkCEMQraWj0lts_tqsIHVu2eKYjV8pYzgd47ILkYzH80UxByhxuga6CKtM37eM6nrhpGJd6E6Iyv_jzHe0yBDzAiZHBMWuiL4w/s320/Cider.bmp" width="320" /></a>A few months ago I got together with a few of the Village people to make cider. I made some last year using and breaking my electric juicer.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">This time without the juicer we used 3 pillow cases, a small hand juicer and a sledge hammer. Needless to say it was a long and arduous task.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">After about 3 hours of grating and sieving the apples through the pillow cases we managed to produce about 20 pints of juice.</div>Since then it has been fermenting into cider, about 8% proof. The 2nd tasting will be very soon, the first tasted of mud and grass with a hint of apple.Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-52022634839109322402010-11-21T07:29:00.000-08:002010-11-21T07:29:53.534-08:00Rich's poem for Gilly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwjk0e8b5ErPmajCg9oTag9VvgDD1b569ZrqhiOpljDGn2-iQ5vAieReoxazA8CkwGOsdD8NSD7TKXtyJt1Mg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-37012145132547200892010-11-20T13:18:00.000-08:002010-11-20T13:18:28.425-08:00SaturdayAfter a few birthday pints with my best man Slim, it was back to watch the X-Factor. I can't believe how all they did was ruin each song, singing or shouting off key and generally being bloody annoying.Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-29733094822196802842010-11-19T06:31:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:15:13.936-08:00Funday FridayFridays are traditionally fun, so today we went for a brunch before having my hair cut in to a military style and another trip to the doctors, how much more fun can you have!<br />
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Tonight we have friends over so it is soon time to get up and start tidying, hopefully I will be having a bit of booze.<br />
<br />
One thing I am getting used to is the amount of poo Gilly can produce. So far today he has made 4 nappies worth, which I use as fire lighters. Eco friendly however I hope it doesn't create a shitty atmosphere later.Country Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-7205452245921454122010-11-18T12:32:00.000-08:002010-11-18T12:32:53.165-08:00ThursdayFirst venture out today. We went to see a potential new house in Bath, a great project however it will take a lot of money and work.<br />
Good news, I have now lined up Friday, Saturday and Sunday for some much missed boozing. My medication doesn't recommend it, but I'm sure a few wont hurt.<br />
<br />
Jen has been trying out her milk expressing and managed to get a fair amount out for me to feed Gilly.<br />
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Gilly wee'd and poo'd on me in one go, that is a real talent, I am very proud of him.<br />
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I think it will be just two weeks until the village cider we made will be ready for it's first tasting, get in!<br />
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All the best and much loveCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-71821754628863970202010-11-17T06:10:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:13:14.466-08:00Bloody HellBloody Hell! It's been a hellish few weeks, I managed to get myself two slipped disks just to add to Jens work load.<br />
She has now had to deal with two lots of bed bathing, although I have managed to use a bottle to wee in rather than a nappy.<br />
Right! the next stage in my Blog is to invite a few of my very funny and clever fellow Dads to add a blog to my blog.<br />
They have all recently become dads, so I ask them to write one or two of their funniest moments to date. Thanks GuysCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-70260583794157687642010-11-09T08:53:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:12:02.900-08:00What a start!Not the best start to fatherhood. All went well with the Birth and we got little Gilbert home. Sleeping and feeding well. During this time I had a stiff back, niggling at me for weeks before. It developed into intense pain and after a few visits to the Doctors I ended up in hospital on my back with a slipped disk. I have now been in bed for 5 days awaiting my MRI scan this Thursday. Jen has been bloody brilliant looking after both of us, what a star xxCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551946281130010601.post-54320099691047702682010-09-26T12:14:00.000-07:002010-09-26T12:14:45.961-07:00The StartThis is the start for me. A new Dad in the country. Follow me through my aim to become a self sufficient family within 4 years. Finding a plot, building a house and providing all that a modern family needs. Along the way I will be learning about various manly things, including beer and wine making and building using rustic skillsCountry Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11696052191297960915noreply@blogger.com0