Monday, 10 January 2011

Real Men Eat Quiche

It was once said that real men don't eat quiche. Well if a real man made it, it would be rude not to!
Here is my recipe to becoming a real man: Serves up to 4 men
Finely chop a leek into rounds. A good sharp knife is useful as a blunt one wouldn't work.

Next up slice a good portion of smoked salmon and leave at the side until ready or until the cat has started eating at it. If this happens hum loudly and pretend nothing has happened.
By this time you should have already blind baked a pastry casing in the oven for 15-20 mins at 180 degrees in a fan oven.

Blind baking is cooking the quiche base with silver foil over the top and weighted down with beans or rice. The rice or beans are removed before filling.
The reason it's called blind baking is because a blind baker developed the quiche and became famous throughout the world known as 'Robert Quiche the blind baker' before Jamie Oliver's time.

His brother was famous for being the baker with brown fingers, why? Because he kneaded a poo!

Next melt a Knob of butter (not a nob of course that is cheese, that is of the Yogi variety ) in a frying pan an soften the leeks until very lightly golden.

At this point it is essential to drink some home brew lager (pictured) which you should have made 10 days before Christmas. If not any lager or ale will do.
Mix 4 large free range eggs and a pot of creme fraiche in a bowl and season.

This should resemble gloopy vomit with a consistency of 8 pints and a dodgy chicken Korma.

Add the vomit, salmon and some wilted spinach (to add muscle) to the pre-cooked base and place in the oven for around 30 mins or until the top is golden brown.

Place on a plate with potato wedges and a small amount of salad, if ladies are present, if not add more wedges.
If this isn't a recipe for the new age man, I don't know what is!

I had a ploughmans lunch today, he was livid!


  1. I don't eat anything made by Tom ever since he boiled a chicken carcass and called it chicken soup

  2. That was my first attempt at mans soup, however it quickly turned into potato pie with the help from Big Bourne

  3. I will soon be doing a special piece on how to make an apple pie, complete with photos and instructions