Thursday, 3 February 2011

Mans best friend

It has been said that a mans best friend is his dog.  I wouldn't say my dog, Russell Crowe, was my BEST ever friend, but he is a very good boy.

Like most of my mates, I don't call him by his given name, Gustav led to Gus to Russ to Russell and finally on to Russell Crowe.  It was going to be Russell Grant, but he has decided he was not a fat gay.

Having a dog can bring loads of pleasure from walking in the country to cleaning up the weekly crap from the lawn, however not everything is a pleasure.
It's a fact that dogs love to fart, THEY STINK! almost as if they have been eating dog food! They seem to give you a little wink, in a way saying "thank-you" for their supper, however they use their brown eye to do the winking.
The worst fart to experience is a dog 'hot boxing' in the car whilst travelling at 70 on the motorway, no escape................breath the green air!

I know we have all been told off at school for either farting or laughing at a fart, but lets be honest, over the years most of us still find farting hilarious.  This is only the case if we are the ones who dealt it, if it's a tramp farting next to you on the bus the humour stops and a punch should be issued.
Although I mentioned that my dog isn't gay, he did go through a confused stage, like an Eton boarder.  He used to like a boyish wrestle with other un- suspecting males which would quickly turn into a good hard shag, finished off by a nose up the bottom.  That's the other dog's bottom, not mine.

Well apart from these down falls, they are still fun to have around, good old Russell Crowe.

I finish this Blog with a LOCAL WARNING:  There have been a few cases of a group of people knocking on peoples doors and stating they have a warrant to see your bottom.  Be warned these people are frauds and are only doing this as a crude way of getting to see your peaches, don't show them under any circumstances!

I wish someone had warned me a few days ago!

Singing to 'We will rock you'

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